Sunday, 3 April 2016

Sunday Snippets - 3rd April 2016

I wasn’t sure if I would get today’s post written (and I’m still not sure if it will make much sense!) because I’m recovering from an operation and still pretty wiped out from the anaesthetic. But I wanted to put something up, so fingers crossed when I’m more ‘with it’ and read it back it makes some sort of sense! I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself – sore, achy and shattered – and I’m just trying to allow myself some time to rest. I’m not very good at it though, I don’t like doing nothing and feeling lazy, but I just keep telling myself that I’m allowed to have some time off to recover. With general anaesthetics they never seem to warn you about the emotional affects – every time I have one I end up an emotional mess; crying, anxious, really low – it’s not much fun! But I’m trying to see it as another reason to practise some self-care. Hopefully over the next week or so I will start to feel a bit more human again.

Last Sunday started with going to church with my Mum, Dad and sister. It was jam packed, which is always lovely to see, although I do get a bit anxious with so many people there. It was a nice service though and I said hello to a few friendly faces. When I got home I ended up falling asleep on the sofa for a while, which was not what I had planned! I spent some time blogging when I woke up, then spent the rest of the afternoon watching The Simpsons back-to-back and finally getting my ‘Good Things’ jar updated. We had an early dinner as my brother and his fiancé were here but needed to leave early so my brother could go to work. We all exchanged Easter goodies and I also received a few nice bits from some friends. In the evening I had a Lush bath and a bit of a pamper.

Monday was my youngest brother, David’s, 23rd birthday – I love looking through old photos of us all! I had a bit of a slow morning, as I just couldn’t get myself motivated and felt really shattered. So I just pottered around and took things slowly. I’m trying to help myself believe that it’s OK to have quiet times and days when I don’t really do anything. I think it’s all related to accepting I’m chronically ill and that I can’t necessarily do things like healthy people do, and that that’s OK. My afternoon was more productive though, as I managed to film three videos for my YouTube channel. I didn’t realise quite how tiring it was though, especially as one of them was a try-on video so I had to keep changing! Both of my brothers and their fiancés came over late afternoon and we watched David open his presents.

My Tuesday morning was fairly quiet and I managed to write a blog post, which I’m happy about, as I really want to start getting more posts out again. Things then got a little crazy when Freddie managed to escape, so we had my Dad running through our estate, my Mum going round in the car and me standing at the front door in case he came back. Thankfully my Dad found him and brought him back home. I then went for a massage, which was definitely needed after Freddie’s antics! My neck and the back of my head are causing so much pain and I’m desperate to find some more permanent relief. My appointment with the neurologist has been moved twice and isn’t until May now, which is so frustrating. When I got home, my Mum and I made some Easter nests (better late than never!) and also some muesli that’s suitable for my diet.

I had my last session of bereavement counselling on Wednesday morning, which felt quite sad but it was my choice. I don’t want to take away support from people that really need it, and I think I just need some time to process things on my own now. She’s left things open though, so I can ring any time if I need to talk again, which is nice to know. I rested for a while afterwards and caught up on emails. In the afternoon my Mum, sister and I went over to Lisa’s (my brother’s fiancé) parents’ house for a bridesmaid hair trial, which was good fun. I came home and opened a couple of parcels, one of which included these cute Paperchase notecards from a swap I took part in. I was feeling pretty anxious all day about my operation, so just tried to find things to distract me as much as I can.

Thursday was operation day. I had to be up really early so I could eat some breakfast before 7am. I got my bag ready for hospital, which included some magazines to keep me occupied, and also sorted out a bag of all my medications (which I’m sure weighed more than my personal bag!) I spent the rest of the morning watching YouTube videos and trying to keep myself busy so I didn’t get too worked up. My Mum took me to the hospital and we made our way to Day Surgery. I said goodbye to my Mum and was shown to my bed, where I had to change into a gown and some sexy stockings! After being seen by the anaesthetist and surgeon, I read for a bit and was then taken down to theatre. There’s not an awful lot I can say about the rest of the day, as it was just spent having the operation and then recovering enough to be taken back to the ward. Thankfully I felt well enough to go home the same night, which I was so happy about as I’m usually kept in. I did spend most of the evening crying (the joys of anaesthetic!) but it was nice to be in my own bed.

Friday was a very quiet day, as I was still completely wiped out and sore from the operation. I managed to get myself up and dressed, but then spent the day sleeping on the sofa. Freddie kept me company all day, which was lovely as he just snuggled up next to me. I was feeling quite anxious and down, so having him lying next to me on the sofa really helped to keep me calm. I watched a bit of TV (Big Bang Theory mostly) but kept dozing off, so didn’t manage to watch a whole episode of anything!

Yesterday was pretty similar to Friday, as I didn’t feel much better. I slept on the sofa all morning with Freddie by my side again. In the afternoon Nanny McPhee was on the TV, and I managed to watch most of that, although kept falling asleep so it’s a good job it’s an easy film to follow! In the evening David and his fiancé Emma came over and had a take-away with the rest of the family to celebrate David’s birthday. I didn’t feel up to having take-away with them, so rested while they ate. But I did then sit up at the table while we sang ‘Happy Birthday’ and David blew out his candles.

If you haven’t read my blog before, I just wanted to let you know that I have a second blog, which mainly focuses on my health in more depth than I talk about it here. It’s largely for friends and family to follow and keep up with what’s going on, but if it’s something you would be interested in reading as well, you are more than welcome to follow me over there. I’ve actually changed the name from Unicorns and Floral Crowns to ‘Zebra Crossing’ and you can find it by clicking here. I’m trying to keep it updated fairly regularly, so hopefully there will be something there for you to read! I’m also trying to post on Snapchat a bit more, so if you fancy following me, my username is Jennycole44.

What have you been up to this week? I always enjoy hearing about your news and adventures!

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